My grandmother Rose was a wise and strong woman. She lost her mother to breast cancer at a very young age. I want to say she was seven years old, if my memory is correct. I always thought it was sad that time with her mother was cut so short. That is such a huge loss so young. I am an adult who lost my mother a few years ago and am still not over the pain. Grandma is someone that I think about often. She passed away about 2 years after my mom did. We were all close and had the best of times together.
As I was growing up, my grandma would often say “This Too Shall Pass” whenever something was getting us down. It gave us hope and strength when we needed to be uplifted. She hated to see us hurting. My mom never liked it either. My mom could slice you from head to toe without blinking an eye if you hurt one of her kids. They gave me a lifetime of love that is unique to me. And it is up to me to pass that on to others.
I never even knew what suicide was until I saw the 1985 TV movie “Surviving”, starring Molly Ringwald and Zach Galligan. I remember being 11 years old and a huge Molly Ringwald fan. I wanted to see this but my mom said only if I watched it with her in case I had questions. She definitely did not want me to think suicide was anything glamorous. The concept of taking your own life was and still is so incredibly scary to me. I think at one time or another everyone thinks they can’t go on. That life may be better without them. I have had times that were pretty low actually and I literally had to pull myself up and out of whatever funk I was in with whatever little bit of strength I had left. Every day can be a challenge to get up and show up. Thoughts when you are depressed are the worst. There are times you have to just say STFU already to the devil in your head. Many people struggle daily with inner demons and pain that they try to suppress. Some days they win and things are good. Some days they need someone to listen to them. Listen without judgement. Some days they just can’t anymore.
It saddens me deeply when someone makes that decision. Saddens me because surely they felt a way that no one would ever want them to feel. Their friends didn’t want them to feel that way. Their kids didn’t want them to feel that way. Their parents didn’t want them to feel that way. Yet this darkness surrounded them and only they could see it.
I hope that if you are reading this, what you take from this is that you are not alone if you ever feel down. Life is freaking exhausting sometimes. But it is so worth living. Problems are temporary. Don’t try to solve them on your own. There is so much to still see and do. People love and need you! Don’t think permanently about a temporary situation. This too shall pass. It always does. And better days are ahead. Please believe that.
My thoughts and prayers go to anyone that is dealing with loss of a loved one because of suicide. And to the person who felt they had no more hope or strength to hold on, you are a beautiful soul. You will be missed. You are a special angel. Please Rest In Peace.